For once tonight (or this morning?) I'm not going to blog about my own life. (Shocking, I know!) Instead, I keep thinking about one of my best friends. This friend has been with me since the high school days, back when we were innocent and had no clue what to expect from our futures. She fell in love way before I did, when we were in the twelfth grade. And even though she and the guy parted ways at the time, a wonderful thing happened--they met again, as adults. They fell back in love and got married a few years ago.
But shortly after 2011 began, my friend told me that her marriage had fallen apart. Her husband no longer wanted to be with her; he'd met another person and didn't care about his sacred commitment to my friend. She is stunned and heart broken by the affair, desperate to repair the marriage, but her husband is not interested in the supposed life they were building.
Each time I talk to my friend, whether it is on the telephone, a social networking site, or just through a text message, I feel helpless and devastated by her despair. I'm fortunate enough, at this point in my life, to be in a loving relationship. Yet when I speak with her, her unbearable pain transfers to me, almost crippling my heart with what she must be feeling.
How does love just go away like that? In my own life, I've had love go sour--but I've never had it disappear completely. Is that even possible? Is it truly possible that her husband no longer loves her, after all these years? Is it possible that he can walk into the home they made, see the woman who was a wonderful step parent to his own kids, a loyal wife and partner, and feel nothing--not even guilt? I apologize for this depressing entry, my readers, but I am baffled and saddened by this news. I suppose I have been foolish, and I have forgotten that in life there are no guarantees.
At this point, I've got no choice but to keep reaching out to my old friend, and trying to support her as she goes through her emotional hell. It is so hard. That's the thing about pain and joy. They are both so transferrable. We must strive to be joyful as much as possible, especially around those who lack it.